Friday, September 18, 2009 them or leave them

So my sister and my Mom have taken it upon themselves to let me know I should be done talking about Elora on any kind of regular basis anymore. A few of the better gems are:

From my sister
"you having a birthday party and even posting photos is very sad and disturbing..."
"I do not want my friends to see how disturbed you are..."
" in the present not the past."
"As for your group. They are dwelling in sorrow from what is sound like. It is a perpetual circle."

From my Mom
" should remove her from your messages, but definitely not from your heart."

The things from my sister were not a real shocker, she has expressed her distaste for how I have honored and grieved since last year. It seemed especially the pumping, wierded her out the most.
On the other side of the coin, I have made many new friends and have been invited into a family of angel mommies who understand me. Some of the words of support and wisdom they have given me, have helped pull me up when I feel like I'm falling into the pit.

"You keep remembering your princess angel baby. Keep doing what your doing. No one should ever downplay someones grief like that."
"We are here and know the pain you are going thru EVERY day and that you will miss you daughter EVERY day for the rest of your life."
"We need to worry about ourselves not other people."
"Noone can tell you how to feel, act, or live until they have walked in your shoes."
"Just because we are sad and grieving for a child that was taken from us too early, does not mean that we still arent living.. it just means that we need a little more support to get through the day."
"The loss of a child, or the grieving that goes with it is not an addiction, it's a process. There is no set length of time for that process, especially when that grief is over the loss of a child. And there is absoulty nothing unhealthy about it."
"It still amazes me how I can be in so much pain and still be alive, but I am. So I go on living for my family..."
"We arent "living for the dead", but we are letting them live through us. To me, that is the best that we have!"
"For those people who think we should get over it, I challenge them."

I could probably go thru the THOUSANDS of posts on MISS and find words like this in every other one! What's really sad is that I have found more comfort in the words and virtual arms of people, who were strangers a year ago...then the people I want it from, who are supposed to love me and be there unconditionally.